We all think we are legends in the bedroom. We all think we’ve mastered the art of sucking a big juicy penis. We bet you think you’ve mastered the art of pile driving an anus. In our porn survey we found that 65% of gay men said that they learn from porn, while 51% said watching porn has made them a better sex partner. So here at FS we decided to give you some tips to fuck like a porn star.


1 - Relax

If you look at porn you’d think that every man’s arse is a gaping hole waiting to be hammered at first sight. No. You can’t just stick it in straight away and expect him to be happy about it. Frankie says relax… and enjoy some foreplay.

Unless a guy is chilled and ready, fucking his arse will probably be a painful experience. Taking the time for foreplay will make sex much more comfortable. This can include rimming, gentle fingering, lubrication, patience and listening to each other and responding appropriately.

2 - Listen to him

Being a top isn’t about being dominant. Though many gay men LOVE to be dominated, not everyone does. Don’t just charge in there. If you ask him how he likes to be fucked you can try and fulfil his request, if you like the sound of it.

Listen to his reactions too. If he is making noises that suggest he’s in pain, try to move more slowly. Most guys like a change in rhythm now and then so variation is good, but if he’s screaming with joy, keep doing what you’re doing!

3 - Wank him off

The biggest mistake people make is treating someone’s cock like a ketchup bottle. You can’t shake his thing so hard to start off with and expect him to like it. Start slowly and build up the speed as you go. Listen to his moans, and that should help with the speed you go at.

Also, with a bit of spit or lube in the palm of your hand and the underside of your fingers you can pretty much get him going. Just get yourself nice and slippery and pass your palm and fingers over the head of his cock – gently, mind. Spend enough time on this and even men with less sensitive cocks can really start to squirm. The tip of the penis is the most sensitive part of a man’s body. Don’t ignore it.

4 - Suck him off

When taking a guy’s cock in your mouth, again, remember to build up. Lick it before you suck it, suck the head before you suck the whole of it… you don’t want to go straight in for the kill like something out of a bad horror movie. And let him see you licking and sucking it. Watch out for sensitive men though – they tend not to like too much action at the tip of the cock.

Get in there and use his whole cock. And if you have a bad gag reflex there are two things you can do to help. Orange juice helps due to the citric acid in it. But also put your thumb in your fist and clench really hard. This helps distract the brain. Who knew, eh?

5 - Lick his balls

It’s not just his cock that’s going to enjoy the feeling of your velvet tongue all over it. There’s also his balls, though you do have to go in more gently here as most men are, quite sensibly, nervous when people start chewing on their bollocks.

You can tell how hard he likes things by the volume of his moaning and the motion of his hips. An often forgotten place is the hard bit (well, it’ll be hard if his cock is) between his balls and his arse.

Lick it, nibble it, and gently bite it. It’s not that it’s especially sensitive like his cock head but it’s a major turn on and often smells strongly of him (we’re assuming you like him by this stage).

6 - Top to bottom

Negotiating who is going to do what to whom is a diplomatic dance, a time-honoured ritual. Sometimes putting a finger in his arse – gently and with lube – or rimming him makes it seem that you are going to be the one doing the fucking, but it’s not always the case.

Don’t forget, you are allowed to talk about this. A simple: “I’d really like to fuck you” or “I’d really like you to fuck me” is perfectly socially acceptable.

7 - Rim him

Some people love rimming, some people hate it. Some people only get into it when they meet a certain person, and then the thing that’s always put them off suddenly makes sense and they can’t wait to get their tongue in there. And some people love having it done, while others find it a slimy old non-event.

Like all sexual practices, there’s no such thing as one-size-fits-all. If you’re going to do this with a man, make sure he likes it first. The biggest thing that puts people off after rimming is having to kiss. Like, who really wants to kiss their own arse? Having some water (if possible) after rimming to take the taste away can help.

8 - Find his sensitive points

Some men want you to get in there and go straight to the point. Others like to be worked up. Finding men’s sensitive points can be very rewarding and make sex even better. Ticklish areas tend to be great to explore during sex. So focus on the neck, ears, just behind the ears, torso, lower back and sides.

One point, which lots of men never try but works, is the back of the knee. If you don’t believe us, try it. Watch him go crazy as you play with it with your tongue.

9 - Role play

Have you been a bad boy and need a spanking? Role playing is porn in human form. Lots of couples say role playing keeps their sex lives active. Dressing up as a fireman, policeman, superhero, doctor, sexy male nurse, plumber, builder, football player… the list is endless.

Buying costumes online can be cheap from the right stores. Let your imagination go wild and recreate your favourite porn scene in reality.

10 - Fuck with confidence

More than just being comfortable in the skin you’re in, if you want to fuck like a porn star, you need to do it with confidence. Like you know how to rock that cock and that you’re going to do it better than any other guy on Earth can do it. And then you do it.

You’ve also got to have confidence in your sexual appeal. You have to understand that the person fucking you wants to fuck and thinks you’re hot as hell. You can’t be afraid of what your body looks like with the lights on if you want to fuck. Sure, you can make love under the covers in the dark, but that’s not how porn stars fuck and it’s not how you should either.

11 - Ditch your inhibitions

To be able to fuck like a porn star, you need to let go of your inhibitions. Instead of thinking about sex as a five to seven-minute ride of cock and bumming, think about sex as an exploration and experimentation.

Embrace what you don’t know and try everything you ever thought about. And yes, you’ll mess up, and yes, you may fall out of bed, but you know what? You’ll have fun. You’ll laugh. And then the fucking gets even better.


How risky is fucking without condoms?

Most gay men who have HIV caught it from getting fucked without a condom. As far as gay sex goes, getting fucked without a condom, and having your partner cum inside you, is the riskiest thing you can do. This is because the lining of the arse can absorb liquids directly into your bloodstream. If there’s HIV in his cum, and it goes up your arse, that will be absorbed too. Getting fucked without him cumming inside you is lower risk but, as there is HIV in pre-cum too, there is still a risk of HIV transmission.

In group sex it’s theoretically possible to catch HIV from getting fucked even if your partner is HIV-negative, if he has fucked someone who is HIV-positive and then fucks you immediately afterwards. This is because there could be traces of HIV-infected anal mucus or blood on his cock.

Getting fucked is also high risk for most other STIs, including chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, warts, hepatitis B and it is now thought that you can catch hepatitis C as well. Condoms provide an effective barrier against most STIs, including HIV, although some STIs, such as syphilis and warts, can still be transmitted if the condom does not cover the entire infected area, such as the base of the cock. If you are infected with an STI in your arse, it will increase the chances of you being infected with HIV if you are HIV-negative. If you are HIV-positive and have an STI, it is likely that there will be higher concentrations of HIV in all of your body fluids, including blood and anal mucus, and so you will be more infectious.

If the person doing the fucking is HIV-positive and has an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission will be greatly reduced.

What if I fuck without a condom?

Fucking someone without a condom is less risky than getting fucked without a condom, but it is still one of the riskiest sexual practices that gay men do. If you are HIV-negative, fucking someone bareback is more likely to lead to infection than sucking cock. This is because the anal mucus that lines the arse (we all have it) can contain a very high concentration of HIV. The mucous membrane just inside the tip of the penis and the foreskin can absorb liquids, like anal mucus, directly into the bloodstream. HIV experts used to think that infection from the receptive partner (bottom) to the insertive partner (top) was as a result of bleeding in the arse. Although it’s possible that blood is responsible for transmission in some cases, we now think that anal mucus is the body fluid that enables the man doing the fucking to become infected.

Other infections in or around his arse, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, warts and hepatitis B can be passed to the guy fucking through his urethra (the tube you piss through). Condoms can prevent most of the infections that you can get from fucking, although it’s worth remembering that some STIs can be transmitted even if you use condoms.

If the guy getting fucked is HIV-positive and has an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission is greatly reduced, however the levels of virus in anal mucus may not match the level of virus in the blood (which is how viral load is usually measured).

How risky are fucking and getting fucked with condoms?

While it is rare, condoms can break during fucking and this could make it possible for HIV or other STIs to be transmitted. Condom breaks usually occur because condoms are used incorrectly or are used for long sessions without changing them. If you use condoms correctly with plenty of water-based lube, it will greatly reduce the chances of them breaking. If you are having group sex, it’s also important to change condoms for each partner. This is because it’s theoretically possible that traces of HIV-infected anal mucus or blood could remain on a condom after a guy with HIV gets fucked. This is also true for other STIs, including hepatitis C. While condoms offer protection against HIV and most STIs, they cannot prevent them all. Even if you always use condoms for fucking we recommend that you get regular sexual health screens at a GUM clinic and continue to test for HIV on an annual basis.


For more information on sex, sexual health, STIs and HIV, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/sex.


HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM

Step 1

When your cock is hard, take the condom out of the wrapper carefully using your fingers. Using your teeth to tear the packet could damage the condom. Squeeze the air out of the teat on the tip of the condom (if there is one) and put it over the end of your cock. Don’t stretch it and then pull it over your cock as this will make it more likely to break.

Step 2

Roll it down the length of your cock – the further down it goes the less likely it is to slip off. Put some water-based or silicone-based lubricant over your condom-covered cock. Put plenty of lube around his arse too. Don’t put any lube on your cock before you put the condom on, as this can make it slip off.

Step 3

Check the condom occasionally while fucking to ensure it hasn’t come off or split. If you fuck for a long time you will need to keep adding more lube. When you pull out, hold on to the condom and your cock at the base, so that you don’t leave it behind. Pull out before your cock goes soft.

Lube

When you don’t use enough lube, or use the wrong kind, the likelihood of condom failure is increased, making transmission of HIV and other STIs possible. Water-based lubes (e.g. K-Y, Wet Stuff and ID Glide) and silicone-based lubes (Eros Bodyglide and Liquid Silk) work well with condoms. Oil-based lubricants like cooking oil, moisturisers, sun lotions, baby oil, butter, Crisco, Elbow Grease, etc. can also cause latex condoms to break.

They can however be used with non-latex condoms, like Durex Avanti, Mates Skyn or Pasante Unique. Don’t use spit as it dries up quickly and increases the chance of your condom tearing.


Useful links

Erection problems: www.gmfa.org.uk/erection-problems.

Condoms and lube: www.gmfa.org.uk/condoms-and-lube.

Cumming too quickly: www.gmfa.org.uk/cumming-too-quickly.

To buy cheap condoms and lube, visit the Freedoms shop at: www.freedoms-shop.com.


How to stop HIV

  • In 2014, over 3,300 gay men were diagnosed HIV-positive in the UK.
  • About 80% of new HIV infections come from having sex with men who don’t know they have HIV.
  • About 16% of gay men who are HIV-positive don’t know they have it.

Condoms

Using condoms while having sex is still one of the best ways to avoid picking up any STIs, becoming HIV-positive or passing on HIV. Make sure you use plenty of water-based lube too. Stay away from Vaseline, baby oil and spit – they will make the condom rip.

For more information about condoms and lube, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/condom-and-lube.

Testing

All sexually active gay men should test for STIs at least once a year. If you are having sex with new partners then you should test more frequently. Test for HIV too when you’re there. It takes about two weeks for most STIs and four weeks for HIV to show up in a test. 

To find your nearest GUM clinic, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/clinics.

Treatment

If you are diagnosed with HIV you will be put on treatment that will contain the virus in the body. Within a few short months the virus should become undetectable, meaning that it’s very difficult to pass on the virus. However using condoms will further reduce the risk of passing on HIV and STIs.

For more information on HIV, being diagnosed and support services for men living with HIV, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/living-with-hiv.

PrEP

PrEP means Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis, and it’s the use of anti-HIV medication to keep HIV-negative people from becoming infected. PrEP has been shown to be safe and effective. A single pill taken once daily, it is highly effective against HIV when taken every day. The medication interferes with HIV’s ability to copy itself in your body after you’ve been exposed. This prevents it from establishing an infection and stops you becoming HIV-positive.

PrEP is currently not available on the NHS to everyone, but you can find information about where to buy generic PrEP by visiting, www.iwantprepnow.co.uk.

PEP

PEP is a month-long course of HIV medication that can stop you becoming HIV-positive if started within 72 hours after sex (the sooner you start taking it the better). If you think you’ve been exposed to HIV, contact your local GUM clinic or go to an A&E.

For more info on PEP, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/pep.

Education

Knowing how HIV and STIs are transmitted is important. One way to stop HIV and STIs is to keep up to date with the latest news and information about HIV, STIs and safer sex.

For more information, visit www.gmfa.org.uk.sex.

Mental health

No matter what advice we give you about how to stop HIV and STIs, if if your emotional health is not good you may find it harder to care about protecting your sexual health. So if you are feeling down, experiencing low self-esteem or have symptoms of depression then it’s best to talk to a professional who can help you get back on track.

For more information on how to look after your mental health, or to find support services, visit www.nhs.uk/mentalhealth.


THIS ARTICLE IS FROM ISSUE #154. TO READ MORE FROM THIS ISSUE, CLICK HERE OR ON THE BANNER BELOW


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