When it comes to sex and relationships there is no such thing as a stupid question.  Here are our answers to some of the things you asked us via the GMFA website. 


Q1 - Did he take off the condom during sex?

I went to a gay sauna in London and got fucked by a guy anonymously. I had made sure he had a condom on at the time he started fucking me. Towards the end of the session I grabbed the base of his cock to check if the condom was still on but it wasn’t. I don’t remember him taking the condom off after he pulled out of me before cumming on my body (could he have done it really quickly so that I could not see?), nor putting it in the bin. How likely was it that I was fucked without a condom? 

Unfortunately, we are unable to give you an estimate of the likelihood that your partner took off the condom mid-sex. If it happens again it’s best to ask the guy when he took it off. Your health is the most important part here so don’t worry about him getting angry. If you feel like you’ve been put at risk of HIV then PEP is available. If taken with 72 hours of possible exposure it may help you from becoming HIV-positive. Obviously the sooner you start taking it the better. If you are worried about HIV and would like to get some peace of mind, you can have an HIV test. Most tests that are used by GUM clinics today can pick up HIV-antibodies three to four weeks after potential exposure to the virus. We recommend that all sexually active gay men get tested at least once a year, even if they always use condoms. 


Q2 - First time bareback

I had unprotected sex recently. It was the first time I’ve ever fucked someone bareback. Can I get HIV from my first time having unprotected sex? Second, what do I need to protect myself from this happening again?

Fucking someone without a condom is less risky than getting fucked without a condom, but it is still one of the riskiest sexual practices that gay men do, regardless of whether this is your first time. If you are HIV-negative, fucking someone bareback is more likely to lead to infection than sucking cock. Other infections in or around his arse, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, syphilis, warts and hepatitis B can also be passed to the guy fucking. One of the most effective way to stay safe during penetrative sex is to use condoms. Although they are a very effective way to stop HIV from getting into your body, you can still pick up other STIs like gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes and hepatitis B even if you wear a condom. The best thing to do is get yourself tested every six to twelve months to make sure that you haven’t picked any STIs up and if you have to get these treated as soon as possible.


Q3 - Bleeding after sex

I just had anal sex and it was feeling good but at the end I felt like I had a burning sensation and there was a little bit of blood on the condom. The next day I was afraid to go to the bathroom, and the following day I went to the toilet and there was a a little blood. I’m a little scared of having sex again. Is my arse damaged? 

It is quite normal for your arse to feel sore or even bleed a little after you’ve had anal sex, especially if you don’t use enough lube. The skin on the arse is thin and you can sometimes get small cuts or irritations when you are getting fucked but these will soon heal and you will be able to have sex again. In future, make sure you apply plenty of water-based lube on your arse and on your partner’s cock to make him go in easier and make the ride more enjoyable. If his cock is too big, try out different positions – perhaps sit on top or lie on your side – and try to relax your arse muscles. If you are having a particularly long sessions, it’s a good idea to reapply lube regularly. Another reason why your arse may have been irritated is that you could be allergic to latex condoms. If this is the case, try using non-latex condoms which you can buy online or in your local pharmacy. 


Please note, the advice GMFA provides is intended to support, not replace the relationship that exists between you and your doctor. GMFA recommends you visit your GP or GUM clinic if you have a sexual health need. 



THIS ARTICLE WAS TAKEN FROM FS ISSUE #148. 
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