By Liam Murphy | @liamwaterloo 


Watch any porn movie and you’ll see almost every scene end in a good bit of butt fucking. But when it comes to the real world sex isn’t all about sticking it in or being stuck into. Sex is also about romance and intimacy. And wanking. Lots of wanking.

We’re all used to helping ourselves out with a quick J&J (jerk and jizz) – we know what we like and it gets the job done. However, when it comes to laying our palms on someone else’s penis, it’s not always as easy to bring them to a satisfying finish. That’s why FS has put together these fool proof tips that’ll turn you into a magnificent wanker.

Try different techniques

If only jackin’ someone’s beanstalk was as easy as simple friction. Some guys may be able to cum at the touch of a button, but others require a little more work to reach a climax. There are a few different techniques you can try to help him achieve the money shot.

The fist – Not to be confused with ‘fisting’, and if you do, you’ll soon know about it. It’s as simple as wrapping your fingers around his shaft and rubbing up and down. This works particularly well for larger dicks. Or smaller hands.

The backhand – Or the ‘reverse fist’. Place your hand around his dick so the thumb is pointing towards him and then rub up and down.

The five finger – For greater hand-to-dick contact, try this. With your hand and arm at an angle, place four fingers on top of his shaft and your thumb below.

The three finger – Or the ‘fountain pen’. Hold his cock like a pen, allowing maximum control and maximum motion.

Take your time

We know we live in a society that demands things are completed quickly – fast food, high-speed broadband, self-checkout tills that actually work – but wanking someone off needn’t be one of them. Enthusiastically fapping someone so fast that your hand and their cock merge together in a speedy blur isn’t that sexy. Instant gratification may suit you when you’re indulging yourself downstairs, but when you’re pleasing your partner it’s sometimes hotter to edge things out a little longer than your pre-bedtime jerk. That said, a three-hour long wanking session may cause issues when it comes to prolonged friction burns.

Get a grip

Sometimes it’s not as simple as thrusting your palm over his trouser meat. The right grip can make or break (hopefully not break) a wank session. Don’t grip too tight, you’re not trying to wring the jizz out of him, and equally, don’t be too gentle, as there’s nothing more unsatisfying than a weak-wristed attempt at a hand job. You have to be Goldicocks and get the grip just right. Ask him if there’s enough pressure and try moving your thumb from the shaft to the head to stimulate different areas of the cock.

Lend a second hand

One of your hands is busy doing the majority of the heavy lifting, so what’s the other doing? Texting? Scratching? Making shadow animals on the wall? Well, put that spare hand to good use.

While one is pumping up the volume, the other can be used to heighten his experience. Use your spare hand to explore his body. It’s all dependent on what he likes, of course (see: Read the reaction), but using your free digits can really intensify his hand job.

Nipple play – Tweak, tug, tickle or tease. A little stimulation here could really make his soda stream.

Ball control – A gentle tug or tickle can promote a standard hand job to a hand career.

Finger fun – A bit of anal probing can set pulses racing. Start with softly rubbing the hole but check with him before you attempt a full-on finger bang.

Wandering touch – Sometimes just exploring his body with your hand can bring upon moments of ecstasy. Try carressing him head to toe with your fingertips.

Talk it up

“Ooh, yeah, you like that? You like that big boy? Ooh, yeah…” Dirty talk while you steam his pudding stimulates his brain, as well as his penis. Just make it better than that. Dirty chat isn’t for everyone, but talking about fantasy scenarios or even describing what you’re doing to him can make for an explosive finale.

Read the reaction

It’s probably tempting to knuckle down and really focus on the area at hand – or in your hand in this case – but unless his penis can talk (and if it can, it’s probably time to head to a GUM clinic) you’ll have no idea what’s working. Take a look at his expression. If he’s throwing his head back in the thrall of sexual ecstasy, then good job, and if he’s wincing, then it might be time to loosen the grip a little.

And finally… Talk!

Assuming someone likes the way you wank them off is like assuming everyone likes the latest Kylie Minogue generic hit. They don’t. We can give you all the tips possible to make wanking a guy off a great experience, but everyone is different. When it comes to wanking ourselves off we all have little tricks that help us get to the messy part. This is no different from the guy you are wanking off so don’t be afraid to ask them what it is they like. Chances are it will help them finish sooner rather than later.  


For more sex tips, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/better-sex


HOW RISKY IS CUM PLAY

The chance of becoming HIV-positive from wanking someone off is basically zero. In fact, it’s probably the safest form of sex you can have. But when it comes to the orgasm at the end, how risky is getting his man juice all over you?

HIV and cum: HIV will die soon after it’s exposed to air so if you are into cum splatting all over your face or body then the risk is low. Ask him to fire away; just make sure you avoid getting cum in your eyes because it stings like hell.

Can I get other STIs from playing with cum?

Although HIV dies quickly after cum is exposed to air, other STIs, including gonorrhoea, chlamydia, herpes
and hepatitis C can be in spunk and live longer. There is no exact timescale for how long HIV lives once it’s exposed to air.

How risky is swallowing cum?

Although high volumes of HIV live in a positive guy’s cum, research suggests that saliva has properties which will usually kill HIV. There have, however, been some cases reported where men have become HIV-positive from oral sex, so getting cum in your mouth and swallowing it isn’t entirely without risk. You can also get other infections from swallowing cum, including gonorrhoea, chlamydia and syphilis.


For more information on the risks of cum play, visit www.gmfa.org.uk/how-risky-is-cum-play.